The vagina is awesome at keeping itself clean and PH-balanced, so while you didn’t mention doing so, I want to say that you don’t need to douche or try to wash it out with soap. (Doing so will actually disrupt your vagina’s work, and can lead to infection.)

However, the labia themselves can sometimes use a little extra TLC, especially the inner labia. You may notice a sticky white substance building up in the little folds right where your inner labia meet your clitoris. Dead cells tend to collect there, and they’re usually what’s responsible for a musty smell or taste. But the great news is that it’s super easy to get rid of this buildup.

In the shower, pull your outer labia apart so you can gently wash your inner labia with warm water. Use a fingertip to make sure the buildup is washed away. In between showers, you can refresh yourself by gently cleaning your inner labia with a damp washcloth or biodegradable wipe.

If you take a moment to do this before you and your partner are intimate, it will probably go a long way towards helping you feel more comfortable receiving oral sex. You can keep a few wipes handy in your bathroom or purse, or even use some dampened tissue paper in a pinch. (Just make sure to be extra gentle, since the area in and around your labia can be quite delicate.)

Other ways to keep your vagina happy and healthy: try to wear cotton underwear, avoid thongs, sleep naked or in loose-fitting cotton, avoid smoking, and try to eat healthy foods as much as possible.

Of course, if you notice any significant changes to the colour or smell of your discharge, it’s worth making an appointment with your OB/GYN to ensure you don’t have an infection or STI. It’s also important to realize that sex is a naturally “messy” act.

I don’t use that word negatively, or to imply that your vagina itself is messy. I just mean that sex can involve sweating, saliva, semen, vaginal juices, menstrual fluid, anal residue, farting, queefing, and so much more. Sex doesn’t take place in a perfectly sanitized bubble.

Try thinking about that the next time you find yourself feeling self-conscious about your partner going down on you. Remember that you only feel worried about your smell and taste because society has programmed you to feel bad about your body.

If you can’t get fired up on your own behalf, think about your best friend struggling with negative thoughts about her own body. Think about your current or future daughters or nieces, or other little girls being taught to feel ashamed about their own bodies. Tapping into that sense of collective pain and outrage can really help put things into perspective.

Finally, I just want to make a quick note that a lot of women have trouble receiving oral sex due to past experiences of sexual abuse. You didn’t say that you’ve been abused in your email, but I wanted to mention it since so many women don’t make the connection.

Sexual abuse can deeply impact your body confidence and the sense of connection you have to your own body. If you’ve experienced abuse, I recommend working with a therapist to process your experiences.

In general, know that your body is deserving of pleasure, and that you taste just fine as you are — but if you’d like to try to make sure you’re as clean as possible, the above tips should help put your mind at ease.