How being raised by a single mother directly impacts a boys confidence. The problem with confidence at its most simplistic sense, is that it can only develop through something you’re good at it.
To be good at something, you have to practice it over and over, and absorb the failure, pain and hardship until you overcome it. Nurturing, protecting, praising, is primarily what mothers do.
The way they are wired to raise children, is catastrophic when NOT balanced by discipline, ruthlessness and punishment provided by the father.
Which is less catastrophic for a boy, when not balanced by a mother. A boys confidence and a “mothers way of raising” is inversely proportional. The closer you are to your mother as a boy, the less likely you will develop confidence.
The absolute lack of confidence in the absence of a father. In general. The absence of a father means you are likely to not receive discipline, hardship, and punishment.
You’re unlikely to be held accountable. And if you’re not held accountable, then failure becomes okay. When failure becomes okay, striving for success becomes unnecessary. And you are still loved as a failure, by your mother.
As a result, confidence is an afterthought. You haven’t achieved anything remotely difficult to be confident about. If you’re raised by a single mother, your objective should be self imposed slavery.
Organize your life on a path that seeks to achieve something extremely difficult, and block out anyone (including your mother) who becomes an obstacle on that path. You have to learn to discipline yourself. Be hard on yourself and punish yourself for your failures.
You have to separate your psyche, and father yourself so to speak. I speak in general. There will be single mothers who spectacularly adopt a father’s role to raise a battle-hardened son. But most will not. I also speak from the perspective of having a tyrant of a father. Who I absolutely love.
His discipline and punishment were next levels. And when I look back in retrospect, I only had wished him to be more tyrannical on me. Because he was doing it for me. Also, confidence is contagious.
When you’re confident about one thing you’re good at, your confidence immediately spills outside the domain of competence, even BEFORE you choose to become good at something else.
Positive feedback. It begins to reinforce your excellence. Any man raised by a single mother who wants to chime in can feel free to respond via Jovazablog@gmail.com.